A Time to Part

Do you ever feel like you could have given more? Do you ever feel like you didn’t give your very best? That’s how I am feeling right now. Four of the little army of our holiday makers have gone back to their home. The other three are leaving tonight.

I feel a bit numb. It’s quiet here. I am kinda beating myself up yet I did what I could. The the few days I was home with them, I spared time to play with them, to sing together, to teach them. Why then do I feel like I didn’t do enough? I know I will be fine but at the moment, I am not.

We tried learning the Paddington song together. Now that they are all gone, I can’t stop singing it😢

I have spent many hours away from them. Hidden in my room every after a hectic day because I am not great company to anyone especially when tired. I easily get irritated. That’s why whenever I wasn’t up to it, I stayed away to fill my cup up, to be replenished. So I will not beat myself up for not giving what I couldn’t. I will not wallow in pity. I will celebrate the moments we’ve shared. I won’t lie to you though, my mood is a bit sunken. I am waiting for my sun to shine again. Yet I know that each one of us, will look back to this holiday and celebrate something good about it despite how chaotic it has been. Despite the somber mood that has followed some of us after our parting. We will look back and celebrate our crazy big family.

Until our next holiday, farewell

Written on Sunday, 3rd September 2023